10 Things to Do:  2 Small Children in 1” of Snow

  1. Stand at the window with noses pressed to the glass while wearing snow hats and pajamas. Bounce around impatiently while three flakes fall.  Scream when one flake sticks for five seconds.  Cry hysterically when it melts.  Repeat for one hour.
  2. Run in small circles while yelling, “I need my snow pants!” Scamper away laughing uproariously when a parent attempts to help put snow pants on.  Quickly transition to crying because snow pants are still not on.
  3. Insist everyone can go outside without coats because we’re all “warm enough”. Step out onto the snowy porch wearing only socks and a t-shirt.  Big smile, catch snowflake on tongue then beg to come back in because it’s too cold.  Decide it’s time to watch a movie.
  4. Finally dressed and bundled so that only the eyes show, hurl self out the front door, run onto the lightly snow-dusted front lawn and begin singing, “snow, snow, snow! We love snow!”
  5. Pick up three flakes in mittened hands and throw them at sister. They have melted before leaving the mitten, but sister should begin crying, nonetheless.
  6. Pay no attention to warnings of ice and run madly down the driveway yelling, “it’s time to party!” to no one in particular. Slip and fall spectacularly into a small bush by the sidewalk.  Call “I’m okay!”, again to no one in particular, pick one-self up and continue running down the sidewalk.
  7. Run to the top of every driveway in the neighborhood, sit down, and attempt to slide down driveway on rear end. Do this even when driveway is flat.
  8. Insist on making a snowman. Spend twenty minutes attempting to roll the 17 flakes of snow on the lawn into a ball.  Declare it a success when a tiny pile of snow is amassed.  Place two large sticks next to the pile for arms and a leaf on top, “for the hat”, and insist pictures be taken to commemorate this masterpiece.  Cry when the dog from next door sniffs up the leaf and runs off with one of the arms.
  9. Begin yelling, “when can we watch a movie?! [Fill in name here] is watching a movie at their house!  Why can’t we watch a movie?!”
  10. Tumble into the house, wet and cold, try to hug the cat while covered in ice, run away when the cat meows loudly, and trail water through the living room. Let parents remove snow clothes one item at a time, never allowing them to get close enough to do it all in one go.  Talk maniacally about snacks, swimming, badgers and a worm.  Cry while washing hands because water is too warm/cold/fast/slow/drippy/wet.

Finally snuggle on sofa with parents, blanket, cat and movie.  Finis.

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